Heads Up....New Question at the OB/GYN

*Disclaimer: This post will remain on top purely for the sake of ANNOYING Kimberly Cardon. Scroll down to see any new posts (when I have time to write something).

Nurse: Do you smoke?
Me: No
Nurse: Allergic to any medications?
Me: No
Nurse: Any history of breast cancer?
Me: Nope
Nurse: Sexually active?
Me: My husband might disagree, but yes (hahahaha)
Nurse: With male or female?
Me: -------
Me: ummmmm, come again?
Nurse: (embarrassed) Sorry, I have to ask
Me: Well that's a new question on the old questionnaire!

Gotta love this world of equality for all! Why in the world would they need to know male or female?? I'm sure some radical complained that no one asked her sexual preference. Gotta proclaim it to the roof...(positive Christ-like thoughts, positive Christ-like thoughts)

Best Friend

Top 10 reasons why it sucks when yet another best friend moves out of your life.

1.Who else is going to nod their head and say "totally" when you use words like "you know the crotch burning at the start of your period??" (All male readers just left the blog)

2. Who else is going to instinctively call the second your about to chase your child w/some sort of weapon and ask if they can come get them?

3. Who else will still think your children are great and snuggle them, even though they know which ones have a highly infectious rash, which ones pick their noses and eat it hungrily, and the current carrier of a parasite?

4. Who else will squeal with delight when they see how good your "gluten window" is while making bread?

5. Who else will say a resounding "YES" when you ask if your butt looks big in a pair of jeans or if your bloated gut looks like your having another baby?

6. Who else will meticulously examine all the limbs and parts of your newborn infant the first time they hold them, and find that he has adducted thumbs and some fingers that don't straighten like they should?

7. Who else will clean your fridge AND your microwave AND bring you dinner when your having an "I'm such a loser who can't get anything done" day, even though her own laundry is piled to the ceiling and her fridge smells like something died in it?

8. Who else will happen to be pregnant the same time as you and insist on calling each other every night from the bathtub to complain about each others aching pelvises? (If any male readers didn't leave, now's the time to exit...)

9. Who else will insist you take a hit off of their anti-depressant when your having one of those really blue weeks?

10. Who else will I sit on the couch with, doing absolutely nothing for hours but watch our kids trash the house, and feel complete bliss?

Sure do love ya sista and it's been some great memories. You'd better make every effort to come back to me when Trevor gets his facility (or I just might have to check-in my Grandma or something).