I Have a Highschooler

Wow! Years? Has it really been years? I promise I still have the ability to show gratitude, I just did what the rest of the world did and stopped blogging the minute Facebook took off. Why was that? I guess once we could get minute by minute updates of how our neighbors laundry was going, suddenly our lives revolved around online snooping/stalking. In the old days, ladies would quietly observe neighbors out their kitchen windows or while they were gardening and call and share the gossip with their friends so don't pretend that this generation is any worse than the previous ones. We just have a different way of doing things :)

 Life has gotten busier around here, and more complicated. Sometimes, I actually feel like a grown-up! Shocking, I know...When I read this blog and reflect on the place I was in 5 years ago, it makes me very nostalgic and a little weepy. I can feel the raw emotions that were there as I wrote about my struggles of being a mother with young children/babies and my quest to find an identity for myself that wasn't "just children".  Looking back on who I was and reading about our daily adventures through the various personal/family blogs, I realize that the sacrifices I made back then were so worth it. Those little love buttons needed all the nurture and care I could provide at that point in their lives and I am so blessed and full of gratitude that I was able to give them that to the best of my ability. Now I'm in a new phase. A few of them still need their mommies to kiss boo-boo's, but the other half need their mom to back off and let them make some decisions for themselves. AND I HATE IT! I want to control everything! I still want to wipe their noses and tell them what outfits to wear and make them eat vegetables, but, SHOCKER...they don't want me to! And sometimes I have to sit back in agony and hear how someone at school made fun of them for some crusted booger and I think "If ONLY they'd let me wipe their noses!"

Alas, it is now my role to let them experience consequences. To learn for themselves all about the cruel tough world and how to combat it. I'm still learning how to let go, and I know I'm not doing it fast enough in their eyes, but I'm going to hold on just a little longer to whatever they'll let me (their hair, thank HEAVENS they still let me comb their hair...if I ask permission). The thing is, I want to hang on to the things that they USED to not be able to do for themselves, but I'm keeping from them the things that they now NEED to learn for themselves. For instance, I'm stomping and gnashing that they won't let me dress them in shorts on a 100 degree day, but I'm keeping all that stinky dirty laundry to myself and holding back the opportunity of teaching them life skills. Why do mothers cling so desperately to their children's neediness? Some day, they are going to go off to college, and come home with BAGS of laundry for me to do, and I'm going to try not to look too creepy/excited as I lovingly wash each smelly piece of clothing in pure bliss. These are the phases of a mother.

My advice? If you have little ones, do all you can to sacrifice and cherish the little things because it goes FAST. Once their wings start to flutter, it's only a matter of time before they fly away with only a few glances back. When did I turn into THAT mom?